No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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