I hate all girls vehemently.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
