Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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