hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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