I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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