I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
