Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They have beer where we have blood.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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