She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
