i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
