it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
