Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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