I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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