my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
