I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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