I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
