Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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