Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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