Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
