The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
