He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
