Umm I'm too high to move.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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