so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
