You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
