D3 body, D1 cock
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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