did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
