i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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