Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
