I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
