Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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