Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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