girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Less talking, more tequila
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
