i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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