My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
