dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
