i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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