Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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