so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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