and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
