If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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