I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
