Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
