You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
