The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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