I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
