I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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