their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish my penis had an off switch
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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