theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
