i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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