best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
