the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just blew my weed a kiss
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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