My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he shaved USA in his pubs
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize