Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
