I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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