We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
