How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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