what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
