i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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