Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
