I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?