At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
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Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.