I need help removing her.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."