It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
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I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD