I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line